Don’t Kiss the Toaster

When I was little, my mother used to warn me, “Don’t kiss the toaster.”

The toaster sat on the counter, shiny and silver, reflecting my face back at me. To me, it looked harmless—even inviting. But my mother knew better. She knew that getting too close could burn me.

At the time, I thought she was overreacting. I was sure I could handle it. “I’ve got this”, I thought.

But I didn’t.

And over the years, I have come to realize something: I’ve kissed a lot of toasters in my life—especially as a caregiver.

The Toasters We Kiss as Caregivers

 In caregiving, there are so many things that look manageable at first. We think we can handle the extra tasks, the sleepless nights, the emotional weight. We convince ourselves that we can pour from an empty cup just a little longer. In other words, “I’ve got this”.

We mean well. Our hearts are in the right place.

But slowly, the heat builds. The exhaustion, the resentment, the physical strain—all the things we thought we could control start to burn.

Just like that shiny toaster, caregiving can lure us in with its purpose and love, until we forget that getting too close—without boundaries—can hurt us. 

My Mother’s Warning Was About More Than Safety

Looking back, I know my mother was not just warning me about a toaster. She was teaching me something deeper: that love and caution can exist in the same space.

She was saying, You can care, you can help, you can give—but you must also protect yourself.

As caregivers, we sometimes believe that giving more is the only way to show love. But what if you realized that protecting yourself is an act of love? What if you understood that boundaries, rest, and saying “no” are ways of honoring both you and the one you care for?

The Lesson I Finally Learned

 After years of caregiving—professionally and personally—I have learned that “I’ve got this” can be a dangerous phrase. It can make us push past our limits and ignore our needs until we are burned out, broken, or numb.

Every once in a while, I will hear my mother’s voice in my head saying, “Don’t kiss the toaster,” except now I listen.

A Gentle Reminder

You can love deeply and still have limits. You can care completely and still care for yourself.

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Because sometimes the wisest thing you can do as a caregiver is step back before you get burned.