Why we cry in the shower: Why this podcast had to exist

Tears in the Shower: Episode 1 Elena Prendergast:

Before we begin, I want to invite you to take a breath. Now, slowly let it out. If you're here, there's a good chance caregiving has changed you in ways you didn't expect. Maybe you're holding a lot together. Maybe you're listening quietly. While the rest of the world keeps moving, this podcast was created for those moments, the ones we don't always talk about, but we deeply feel welcome to Tears in the Shower. I'm really glad you're here.

My name is Elena Prendergast. I'm a nurse practitioner specializing in palliative care, an end-of-life doula, a patient advocate, but just as importantly, I'm someone who has walked the caregiving journey personally and professionally, and I know how heavy it can feel. I created this podcast because caregiving touches all of us at some point, and yet so many people are left to carry it quietly and alone. I created tears in the shower because caregiving is one of the most emotionally demanding roles a person can hold, and yet so much of what caregivers experience remains invisible.

Oh, we're very good at talking about treatment plans, medication, and next steps, but we are far less comfortable talking about the emotional weight of caregiving. The guilt, the grief, the exhaustion, the fear, and the quiet moments where everything feels like it's just too much to handle. Caregivers are often expected to be strong, organized, grateful, resilient, and yes, quiet. And eventually all of that has to go somewhere.

I want to pause here for a moment and share something important. Because this podcast didn't come from a theory, it came from my own lived experiences. My mother and father died before I ever became a nurse. At that time, I didn't have clinical language, the credentials, the training to lean on. I was simply a daughter trying to understand what happened and trying to survive. Survive the loss of people that I love deeply. Like so many caregivers. I learned about grief and caregiving by living it, by realizing often too late how unprepared I was for the emotional weight that serious illness and loss carried. Later I became a nurse and eventually a nurse practitioner specializing in palliative care so that I could see those early experiences more clearly. I've now learned how to name the gaps, the places where caregivers are expected to cope quietly without support or space to process what they're holding. Even now with years of training, I know this to be true. No amount of clinical knowledge replaces the lived experience of loving someone and fearing what may come next. Tears in the shower exist in that space. The space between what we know and what we feel.

This podcast was created because I know what it's like to need a place where the weight can finally be put down. For many caregivers, the only place they feel safe enough to let go is the shower. It's the one place where no one needs anything from you, where you don't have to explain yourself. Where the tears can fall without being witnessed or managed. Tears in the shower is a metaphor, but it's also very real, and this podcast exists to bring those hidden moments into the light with honesty, compassion, and dignity.

Today. I bring both lived experience and professional training into this space as a nurse practitioner and as someone who understands caregiving from the inside out. In the weeks ahead, you'll hear stories from caregivers of all walks of life, family caregivers, professional caregivers, clinicians, advocates. And people navigating serious illness alongside someone they love. Some guests will be well known. Others may be voices you've never heard before, but whose stories will stay with you long after the episode ends. This is not a podcast about doing caregiving perfectly. It's about doing it honestly. And it's about protecting quality of life, not just for the person receiving care, but for the caregiver as well.

This podcast exists to offer caregiver support, education, validation, and advocacy. It's a place to name the anticipatory grief, the guilt, the burnout. Love, loss, and resilience, all without judgment and without rushing anyone through their experience. I believe so passionately that being present with one another, especially in moments of suffering, is one of the most meaningful things that we can offer.

This first episode is just an introduction. It's only the beginning. In the weeks ahead, you'll hear stories from caregivers of all walks of life, voices that are honest, brave, and deeply human. If caregiving has changed you, challenged you, or left you holding your breath more often than you realize, I hope you'll stay with me. Caregiving. Was never meant to be carried perfectly or done alone, just honestly. And this space was created for the tears, the love, and everything in between.

This is Elena from Tears in the Shower, and I'm really glad you're here.