The Patient Who Knew It Was Time

I had been a nurse for a couple of years when I returned to the hospital to work on a busy medical-surgical unit. Like most days on that floor, the pace was relentless—too many tasks, not enough staff, and little time to even drink water or use the restroom during a 12-hour shift.

One of my patients that day was a sweet older gentleman. He was so kind, always smiling, and so grateful for any little thing I did. Toward the end of my shift, after rushing through my numerous tasks, my charge nurse was telling me I had to clock out for lunch. As I usually did prior to taking a break, I popped into his room to check on him.

As was my habit, I let him know that I was stepping away. His response caught me off guard.

“You have been a kind nurse today, and I appreciate all you have done for me,” he said. “But when you come back, I won’t be here.”

I paused for a moment, thinking it was a strange thing to say, but I smiled politely and went to lunch.

When I returned, I was shocked to learn he had died while I was gone.

The “Knowing” at the End of Life

That experience stayed with me. Over time, and with experience, I have learned that it is not uncommon for people who are nearing death to have a deep knowing—or a sense—when their time is near. Sometimes they will say goodbye in words, sometimes in gestures, and sometimes in ways that don’t fully make sense to those around them until later.

What I once thought of as a strange coincidence, I now understand as part of the mystery of life and death.

A Lesson for Caregivers

For caregivers, these moments can be incredibly difficult. When a loved one begins to talk about dying—or says something that feels unsettling—it’s natural to want to brush it off or change the subject. It can feel too heavy, too painful, or too soon.

But often, these words are not meant to frighten us. They are invitations to listen, to honor, and to bear witness. They are reminders that this is their journey, and that even at the end, they have a voice and a choice.

Choosing Love and Honor

Our role as caregivers is not to control or fix what is unfolding, but to love, support, and honor. When a loved one expresses a sense of readiness or awareness, the greatest gift we can give is to be present, to affirm their words, and to walk with them as far as we are able.

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 Because caregiving isn’t only about extending life, it is about honoring life, all the way to its natural close.